Dear Blog, It’s Been Two Months Since My Last Entry…

Hello everyone! Life has been good over the past two months. We’ve been very busy with an energetic 18 month old toddler but I can’t complain. As for me, I’ve been working on a few personal improvement projects: losing weight, keeping an exercise routine and fixing my (broken) libido. In that order I give you my progress report.

Weight
Weight is a constant struggle for many women. It’s even harder to maintain a healthy weight or, in my case, lose weight once you’ve turned 40. Add to that the menopause and you’ve got a recipe for defeat. If you let it defeat you. I tried Weight Watchers and didn’t see the same results that I saw in my early 30s. Back then the program was different and my body was different. This time around I lost the pregnancy weight quickly but plateaued when it came to losing my own additional weight. Granted I wasn’t following the program 100% of the time each week but I did the best I could and I still only fluctuated between 5 lbs over the past 11 months. A few weeks ago I decided to try something different. I wasn’t interested in a plan that provided meals for me because I need to be able to cook my own food. I like to cook!

Anyhow, I decided to try the free program My Fitness Pal. There’s an App for that! Seriously though, it’s easy to follow via website and App. It’s a calorie tracking program that assigns you a daily calorie amount based on how quickly you want to lose weight (you can also use it to maintain or gain weight). As with other programs, you can add more calories to your day if you exercise.

I’m explaining all of this because I found a flaw (for me) with the Weight Watchers program. They give you most fruits and vegetables “free”. Even if you try to track them they show up as 0 points. Have you (those on the WW program) ever counted the number of “free” calories you eat in a day? I did this on my first day of using My Fitness Pal and discovered that I have 402 calories unaccounted – DAILY! That’s an additional 2,814 calories a week that aren’t being tracked. If you put that into Weight Watchers terms, that’s about 56 extra points per week (I was on a 30 point/day plan). I could go on about the extra weekly points you get on Weight Watchers (use at your own discretion) but the object isn’t to slam the program, it’s to show that if I don’t track everything, I won’t get to my goal. It’s just not possible.

I started MFP on June 16th and lost 7.4 lbs by June 27th! I still have a burger on occasion, and I enjoy a glass of wine most nights, but the key is that I track everything I eat. I’ve also been watching my sugar intake. I’m focusing more on natural sugar (fruits, honey) for the bulk of my day and saving the processed sugar (restaurant dessert, low calorie popsicle at night) for limited occasions.

Exercise
I’m able to get in a 35 minute workout on most weekdays but the weekends are more challenging. Thankfully my husband and I have put a system into place where we support each others need to be active. He still goes to karate on Saturday mornings and I try to get in a workout while Jacob is napping. I was going to yoga on Sundays but the studio, although great, is too crowded and I just can’t get Zen. Instead we’ve started going for walks at the National Zoo (the hills!) or we go swimming. Being with my family of three is sometimes more Zen for me than a solo workout.

Libido
You may recall that my OB/GYN, Dr. M, suggested that I start acupuncture again. Well I’m happy to say that I’m 4 sessions into a 10 session program and I’m starting to see some results. In addition to my acupuncture sessions, Ashley, my acupuncturist, sends me on my way with temporary ear piercings that serve as stimulation for the libido nerves.

See the little gold piercing near my ear canal? Acupuncture!

This week the piercings are in a slightly different spot than previous weeks because I couldn’t use my headphones before (they’d bump the piercing – ouch!). Unfortunately I think the nerve stimulation is better the other way so I guess I’ll have to go without headphones for a bit longer. Not the end of the world.

I’ve also switched my maca root from capsule to powder. Dr. M thought this would be a good idea because she believes that the powder form will give me better results. Ashley didn’t think there was much difference between the two but suggested that I keep at it either way. For now I’ll stick with the powder form since I have it.

So there you have it! At the end of the day I realize that I’m fighting an uphill battle but I try to tackle each issue individually and keep in mind that nothing worth having comes easily.

Final Post-Op Appointment

Hello all! Today was my 6 week (and final) post-op appointment. Dr. G wasn’t available to see me personally so I saw her nurse, Jennifer, instead. The “authority” change didn’t matter to me because I wasn’t expecting any exceptional outcomes, today was just a final box to check in the post-surgical arena. All went well and here are my takeaways:

1. I am healing well. The internal stitches are dissolving as expected and the external incision sites look great.
2. I can start working out again but she said that I should resume slowly so I don’t hurt myself since I’ve been inactive for weeks. My plan is to start with cardio and after a week or so I’ll build in a Sunday yoga class and then add weights. Recently I’ve noticed some random soreness in my shoulder and/or lower back. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been inactive, slept wrong or if it’s a side effect of the menopause (related to muscle/joint aches). We’ll see how this progresses over the next few weeks with my workouts and general getting-back-to-life movement.
3. I can resume lifting as normal (Jacob, groceries, taking the trash out (ugh!)) but should do it gradually. This would be fine if my husband wasn’t going on a business trip in 2 days – for 4 days. Oh well! I’ll just remind myself to bend with my knees…not my waist.
4. This one may be TMI (too much information) so skip it if you don’t want to know. When having intercourse for the first few times I should be wary of pain from pressure. Her suggestion is that I take the top position so that I can control my overall comfort level. In addition, I may have some spotting after intercourse but anything more than that is cause for a return visit to the doctor.

Outside of today’s appointment I can report that I’ve been doing well with the Replens. I don’t feel dry/sore anymore and I hope that this will continue to be a solution to the problem. I did ask Jennifer if I’d need to use it forever and she said “likely, yes”. Sigh.

I purchased a pretty (feminine) pill box to store my Estrogen pills. It’s not exactly what I was looking for but the size was key. When I use it in the morning I feel less like I’m taking medicine and that’s a good thing. Effect achieved!

I’ve also been taking the Maca Root daily (for hormonal balance/libido)…well…except I forgot to take my pills this morning. I don’t know if it’s menopause brain or just rushing to get out of the house with snow falling. Anyhow, I feel like there may be a spark of interest – or at least a lack of “please go away and don’t bother me”. That wasn’t easy to admit, or type, so please don’t think I’m be cavalier about the situation. I use humor to ease difficult topics.

Moving on…I have noticed another change since the surgery. Before the surgery I needed to wash my hair daily (at least wet and re-dry) because it would be too flat (not oily) on day-two and no amount of brushing would revive it. Now day-two hair looks good! This change indicates, to me, that the oils in my scalp have reduced. While this is a positive now, I wonder if my hair will be too dry in the coming years. Since I don’t color my hair (yet…we’ll see how the graying goes) I may be ok. Of course day-two hair will be rare if I’m working out daily because I cannot go without shampooing my hair after a workout. At the end of the day this is nothing to worry about…for now.

I’ve been lazy/obsessing about my weight. How odd is that statement? While I’ve been lazy about tracking my Weight Watchers I’ve also been obsessed with not gaining weight. I think I just needed to get today’s appointment out of the way so I can mentally and physically move on with my life. It’s not that I needed permission to do anything specific (related to food or light cardio exercise) but I saw the 6 week healing period as “downtime”. Time to get going again!

Helping Hands

It’s important to know when to ask for help, whether you’re recovering from surgery or just in need of a quick helping hand. During the past three weeks Joe has been wonderful with doing what is necessary to care for Jacob without complaint. His weekday mornings are more rushed than normal but he doesn’t say a word. At home he has to be more hands-on (piggy-back rides, going after a moving toddler, picking him up) with Jacob than before because of my recovery limits. He’s a bit more tired at the end of the day but, again, he doesn’t complain.

When I found out that the healing process would take 6 weeks I realized that it would also mean that Joe couldn’t leave me alone with Jacob while he goes to karate on Saturday mornings. I knew that he would never ask me to get help. He would have just kept quiet and not attended class until all of this is over. Of course I couldn’t let that happen. I knew that he would need the physical and mental escape – even if it’s only once a week for two hours.

Thank goodness for my friends! Not only do they care about me by calling to check on me and bring healthy meals but they are willing to be at my home by 9am on a Saturday morning because they care about Joe. That says a lot about these ladies and I am SO thankful for them.

My recovery is going well and I have noticed minimal side effects from the menopause. I’m taking 1mg of Estrodiol (one whole pill) in the morning. Apparently I was only taking 0.5mg initially so this increase has helped. At night I don’t sleep soundly and my body temperature rises and falls somewhat but overall I am fairly comfortable. With the increase of Estrogen I’m not feeling as overheated as before and I’ve never experienced night sweats. I also haven’t experienced any hot flashes during the day so that’s a big plus!

I’ve noticed that my eyes have been dry a few times so I compensate with lubricating drops that were recommended by my eye doctor. She said this would likely be an issue with menopause. Easy fix!

I’ve had a few headaches – actually one each day lately – but the weather has been screwy so I’m not sure if it’s atmospheric pressure, hydration (I’m trying to drink enough!) or what but at this point I’m not blaming it on menopause.

I don’t have much discomfort around the surgical site. Sometimes an elastic waist band will annoy me but overall it feels fine. The only real issue I’m having is feeling itchy on my belly, above or below the incision areas. I think this is related to healing so I’m not worried. In fact, I don’t think I remember any itchiness today so – YAY!

My mood seems to be the same as pre-surgery. I’m generally happy but I still cry when I see something that makes me sad (shows on TV etc) and I get angry when something is unjust (drivers on the road). Normal, everyday stuff.

Last week, during the work week, I was super tired in the afternoon so I put off exercising. I felt better over the weekend but decided to see how today went before I started bringing a gym bag again. At this point I think I need a few more days and then I should be ready.

All in all the first three weeks have gone better than I expected so I’m happy. Let’s just hope the next three weeks continue this way. I’m sure they will!

Post-Op Outcomes

My post-op appointment went very well today. The pathology report came back stating that everything was benign – thank g-d! I wasn’t really worried but it is a relief to check that box.

Dr. G removed the steri-strips and said that I was healing well. I still have the ugly tape residue from the steri-strips so I’m going to try removing that, carefully, tonight with some baby oil (recommended by a friend). I know that its cosmetic but I just want to get rid of that stuff. Yuck!

It turns out that I don’t have external stitches – just small scabs at the incision site(s). She recommended that I used vitamin E on the wound area to minimize scarring. My instructions for the next 4 weeks are:

1. Jacob: I can pick him up from a seated position (YAY!) and carry him around (double YAY!!!) but I still have to have Joe get him from the tub/crib/floor and school. At least some restrictions have been lifted!
2. Exercise: I can resume normal (for me) exercise but am not to do anything new. I should not do crunches/abdominal exercises during the remaining 4 weeks of recovery. Ok fine…I can live with that!

On the ERT front; I told Dr. G about my hot nights and she asked me if I was taking 1mg of the Estrodiol daily. I told her that I don’t know the dosage per pill but the bottle says 1/2 pill daily. Her reply was to make sure I was taking 1mg – whether it’s 1/2 pill or 1 full pill. Easy!

I asked her about taking other forms of menopausal remedies, such as Estroven (suggested by a friend), in addition to the Estrodiol and her answer was no because the amounts of Estrogen in the Estroven are not known (it’s not FDA regulated…blah blah blah) so it could be too much for me in addition to the Estrodiol. She said that once I am off the Estrodiol we can move to Estroven. With that said, my OB/GYN will be managing my ERT going forward so she’ll decide the length of time that I’m on Estrodiol.

I went back to work today and was immediately showered with hugs and “welcome back, we missed you!” comments. It’s wonderful to be appreciated!

Healing Can Be Tiresome

During the first week of healing I was taking a daily nap. I didn’t see any problem with this, given that I’m not normally a nap person, because my body needed more rest than usual. Once I started to feel better I didn’t get that sleepy feeling so I didn’t take a nap. Mind you, I was hanging out at home, minimally lifting items, minimally cooking and not carrying Jacob. Well…going to the grocery store or running an errand added a whole new element of tired. I should have known this but I let the reality escape my mind until the zzzz’s hit me – HARD. It’s not a big deal but it did lead me to think about other things I’ll have to ease back into once I’m cleared to start being me again.

For instance, I decided to take one more day off work. Post-op is tomorrow morning and I want return to work without these awful steri-strips and stitches. It will make my mid-section more comfortable when I wear tights with a dress or just a simple pair of pants. Additionally, I decided that I need one more day to rest – without distraction – while Joe is at work and Jacob is at school. I never sit still when they are here and therefore I don’t rest. My brain keeps saying “you’re being lazy!” while my surgical area is saying “sit down and heal!” so I have a conflict in my head and thus I move around more than I should. I also have a few aches left from the surgery but I’m off the Percocet and barely take the Extra Strength Tylenol…only if needed.

Unfortunately my lower back is starting to feel a bit tweaked so I’m looking forward to asking Dr. G when I can start working out again. I want to strengthen my core and remove more of the unwanted lbs. The thing is, when you tell a yoga instructor or gym trainer that you want to strengthen or shed, they work you like a dog. I can’t do that because then I hurt, even without surgery, too much and quit the program because I CAN’T MOVE. So, my plan is to work on it slowly. Start with cardio for a week. Add in some free weights. Do some crunches. Take a yoga class without speaking up on the areas I want to work. Then, in a few weeks I can return to that yoga class and request core building. My short-term goal is to be able to return to picking up Jacob without throwing out my back, or worse.

The ERT seems to be working well but I have noticed, over the past 3 nights, an increased amount of warmth, or heat, radiating from my body at night. I’m constantly throwing off the covers and then putting them back on. I’ve altered the amount of clothes I wear: adding/removing socks, removing pajama pants, exchanging a long sleeve shirt for a tank top. I’m still waking up hot! I was hoping the ERT would make it so that I didn’t feel any menopausal side effects but I’m not that lucky. Oh well! I can’t have everything, right?!? At least I’m not waking up in a pool of sweat! (yet…)

My spirits are good. I do feel a bit frustrated at the healing process but that’s mostly because I can’t pick Jacob up. As annoying as that is, I’ve devised a few ways to cuddle with him. (my friend, Deb, is cheering now…I can just hear her saying “Go Leah!”)

Jacob is preparing to share his milk with his stuffed animal.

When I sit in the living room chair I have Jacob stand with his back facing me and holding onto the ottoman in front of him for support. THEN…I pull his hips up and onto my knee (I’m not pulling up the full weight of him because it’s being shifted to the ottoman) and then scooping him back to my lap with his back resting on my chest! This way I can give him his sippy cup or soothe him with his pacifier (when his teeth hurt…poor baby!) and Joe doesn’t have to rush over to put him in my lap. Jacob is pretty good about getting down on his own and it doesn’t hurt if he puts a bit of pressure on my belly…coincidentally one of the areas that will be worked on as soon as I’m green lit for exercise!

In the meantime, I started tracking my weight watchers again. It’s a great way for me to manage my weight right now. I did fairly well over the weeks that I wasn’t tracking and still lost a bit of weight. I know it may be hard to get back on track this week but I’ll just do the best that I can and remind myself that I’m still healing.

I’m off to rest now…